5 Whip Lashes - Text
Nov. 19th, 2011 02:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theshinjukucrocBeandick's Magical Adventures to Find His Balls
Once upon a time there lived a shitty guy named Beandick. He was thin as a pole and everyone's bitch. It was easy to do since one kick sent him flying for miles. It left him crying all the time and not even crap like Air Trek could make him feel better. Still, he couldn't fight them off because Beandick was missing something very important and had been all his life.
His balls.
Everyone else who ganged up on him had them. Even the girls. Why he got to be the only one without made no sense to him. But he decided that he should go find his.
So Beandick set out on a magical quest all by himself. And the first place he went was to go talk to a powerful soldier of justice who was said to have the biggest balls in the land. He wanted to know how the guy had gotten so lucky. It was a two day journey to get there but he figured he could deal with some more of getting his ass kicked until then.
Off he went through the forests of Fuck You and over the river of Whispering Shit You Don't Want to Hear. It was a long journey but he finally got there. His ass was so bruised from getting it kicked so much that he couldn't stand anymore. His legs wobbled from all the walking but at least here he could talk to the great soldier with the biggest balls in history.
He was amazed by the soldier and stared at him for an hour before the guy finally got up and kicked him in the face.
"What do you want, shithead?"
"I want to know where to find balls. I need them so I'll stop getting my ass kicked."
The soldier stared at him then burst out laughing. "You won't find them. You have to be born with them. So you were born without balls and will never have any."
Beandick couldn't believe his ears and finally broke down crying like a little pussy. But since he was one, no one was surprised.
He spent the rest of his life as everyone's bitch.
Sucks to be Beandick.
The end.
Switch to Voice
Not a bad curse.
Once upon a time there lived a shitty guy named Beandick. He was thin as a pole and everyone's bitch. It was easy to do since one kick sent him flying for miles. It left him crying all the time and not even crap like Air Trek could make him feel better. Still, he couldn't fight them off because Beandick was missing something very important and had been all his life.
His balls.
Everyone else who ganged up on him had them. Even the girls. Why he got to be the only one without made no sense to him. But he decided that he should go find his.
So Beandick set out on a magical quest all by himself. And the first place he went was to go talk to a powerful soldier of justice who was said to have the biggest balls in the land. He wanted to know how the guy had gotten so lucky. It was a two day journey to get there but he figured he could deal with some more of getting his ass kicked until then.
Off he went through the forests of Fuck You and over the river of Whispering Shit You Don't Want to Hear. It was a long journey but he finally got there. His ass was so bruised from getting it kicked so much that he couldn't stand anymore. His legs wobbled from all the walking but at least here he could talk to the great soldier with the biggest balls in history.
He was amazed by the soldier and stared at him for an hour before the guy finally got up and kicked him in the face.
"What do you want, shithead?"
"I want to know where to find balls. I need them so I'll stop getting my ass kicked."
The soldier stared at him then burst out laughing. "You won't find them. You have to be born with them. So you were born without balls and will never have any."
Beandick couldn't believe his ears and finally broke down crying like a little pussy. But since he was one, no one was surprised.
He spent the rest of his life as everyone's bitch.
Sucks to be Beandick.
The end.
Switch to Voice
Not a bad curse.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-21 01:56 am (UTC)[ why was he even in this conversation? This guy was obviously not going to cooperate! ]
no subject
Date: 2011-11-21 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-21 02:17 am (UTC)Enough of this.
I tried to do the City a public service and you have no intention of amending your ways. You, dear sir, are hardly a gentleman.
[ click, he ends the fed. How rude! ]